Wherein it = thank. I am full of thank.
Yes, the next four years are going to be scary. When a man who believes in gay conversion therapy is considered the sane one in the bunch, we've got problems. But as worried as I am about the coming Trumpocalypse, more than anything else I am thankful.
- Everyone who voted for those turkeys, because without them we wouldn't yet know just how broken our country is, and now we can work to fix it.
- My son, because to him I'm the funniest person in the world.
- Improv, because sometimes a guy just needs to pretend he's plankton for a while, or to sing of the many benefits of a lost toe.1
- Friends and family, because alliteration? Awesome.
- Those times when you think you're out of cheese but it turns out you still have some cheese left, because mmm cheese.
- Cats and kittens, because they make absolutely fantastic hand warmers during the cold winter months.
- Cold winter months, because of what I already said about cats and kittens. Do I have to draw you a diagram?
- Epiphany moments, because, I mean, c'mon.
- And of course, my lovely wife Denise, because even after all this time, her taste in husbands has not improved one bit.
Happy Turkey Day, everyone!
1 You save money on nail polish, for instance. And pedicures. Toe stubbings drop 10%. Plus, now your foot will fit into that dashing prince's glass slipper.